Do you want children? Definitely. When? Never.

When do you feel truly ready to give up your old life and break your heart wide open? While listening to an Ezra Klein podcast recently, I laughed out loud with sheer delight, feeling so seen. I mentally bookmarked his statement so I could go back and look up the transcript later to send to … Continue reading Do you want children? Definitely. When? Never.

Creating Communities that Don’t Cause Religious Trauma

No group can be perfect in all these measures, but people who have experienced religious trauma have a hyper-sensitive alert system for anything that feels off. “Off” might include problematic theology, power dynamics, in / out requirements to be part of the group, environments of control or secrecy, and so forth.

How to Heal From Religious Trauma

First off, let’s acknowledge that a pithy social media quote and a blog post are not going to heal anyone from their trauma. Inner work is a long and complex journey, and I would never pretend that a self-help book and an online article will get you where you need to go. But I would … Continue reading How to Heal From Religious Trauma

Beliefs creating religious trauma

Today we are going to jump into some of the specific beliefs that may cause or contribute to religious trauma. The context I am most familiar with is American Christianity, in particular, the very wide net of evangelicalism. Thus, all of my examples are compatible with common beliefs of that system. Some evangelicals (cultural / … Continue reading Beliefs creating religious trauma

Why Religious Trauma is Actually Trauma

Introduction This month, we will be doing a 3-part series on religious trauma. First, we’ll address the question of what religious trauma is, from a psychological, trauma-informed perspective. Two weeks later, we’ll dive a little deeper into the kinds of beliefs that can cause religious trauma, specifically in the context I and many of you … Continue reading Why Religious Trauma is Actually Trauma

What does “spiritual but not religious” really mean, anyway?

Thus, the way that I will distinguish spirituality and religion is this: Spirituality is to believe that at one's core, you can tap into a guiding force of Love and that there is a powerful life force (whatever you call it) that moves us in the direction of healing and wholeness.

The “freeze” fear response in religious trauma

The freeze response may occur in a religious context when people feel stuck or trapped in a harmful situation and they don't see viable options before them to get out or find safety. This could be anything from sexual, narcissistic, financial, or emotional abuse being perpetrated on church members, to simple faith deconstruction like questioning whether hell is real in a system where this is prohibited.